Garandee's Kawawang Undies

Garandee and I have been doing our own dusting, packing and moving the past few days, and we are totally exhausted! So far we've got 75% of our stuff moved, mostly my wife's junk... Tomorrow I finally get to move some of my stuff.

Though the past week has been totally hectic and difficult, it was also a great opportunity for some husband and wife bonding.

Garando: "Phew, that's definitely the last batch we're doing today. I'll go back to our new home tomorrow to sort the boxes out and do some cleaning."

Garandee: "Hai... sooo tsukareta (tired)..."

Garando: "Now go freshen up and get dressed. Let's eat out tonight!"

Garandee: "OK! Something oishii (delicious) ne..."

Garando: "Yes, let's treat ourselves tonight."

Garandee: "DO!! Where are my undies?!?!"

Garando: " ??? "


Garandee: "My undies were all in this box... and it's not here!"

Garando: "We must've moved it along with the others this morning."

Garandee: "NYOOOO!!! Those were all my undies!"

Garando: " ... "

Garandee: "sigh... "

Garando: "you can use mine."

Garandee: "EEEEHHHH?!?! MAJI DE (are you nuts)?!?!"

Garando: "Here's a bikini cut. It's the smallest one I got."

Garandee: "Oh my goodness..."

After a few minutes...

Garando: "How is it?"

Garandee: "It's sooooo BIG for me!!!"

Garando: "Use a clip or something."

Garandee: " ... "

To my friends, so sorry for not being able to bloghop yet. Hopefully my life will go back to normal after we're all settled in our new home.

Thanks for your understanding!

Garando mode:
Better it was her undies than the other way around.
Read More......

Garandee Has a Fever

Oh my gulay...

The turnover date of our new home is in a couple of days and I had no idea the preparations for the move would be this hectic! Apart from my day job's already crazy schedule, all the requirements and paperwork that came with my mortgage application, the furniture and supplier hunt ate up whatever free time I had left.

Worst of all, I think my wife's finally got the "new home fever".

Garandee: "Oh, what's that you bought?"

Garando: "It's a cable organizer! It wraps all my PC's cables and wires together making it all neat and tidy. It's so cool! Perfect for my new room!"

Garandee: "IKAW!!!"

Garando: " !!! "

Garandee: "IT'S NOT WHITE!!!"

Garando: " ??? "


Garandee: "Why - didn't - you - buy - WHITE?!?!"

Garando: "uhh... because I was thinking about cleaning up the wires?"

Garandee: "You should have bought WHITE!!"

Garando: "but..."

Garandee: "Ask me first before you buy OK?! You didn't tell me you'll buy..."

Garando: "...black?"

Garandee: "Nyo! That... whatever that thing is!"

Garando: "I meant the cables and wires are black. It matches right?"

Garandee: "NYO! You didn't say you'll buy... Oh never mind! It's your room anyway."

That evening...

Garando: "Not bad, not bad at all! I couldn't get all the wires in, but it sure looks a lot tidier now. What do you think of my BLACK cable organizer? Pretty cool, huh?"

She gave me that "look" and I instantly knew what was on her mind.

Garandee's mind: "WHAT-EVAAHH!!"

New home fever.



Garando mode:
So sorry for dropping in and out of existence. Extremely busy right now...
Read More......

Back from Sick Leave

Sorry for the looong absence!! I caught the flu a couple of weeks back and it was one of the worst influenzas I ever had to go through. It took me four days to finish watching that Angels and Demons film. I was that sick!


Was it AH1N1? Beats me. I didn't bother to have my throat swabbed because I can be very ticklish.

But one thing's for sure, when I'm bedridden Garandee loses a chauffeur.

Garandee: "DO! I'll take a TAXI going home, rest ikaw!"

Garando: "Try walking over to that gas station by the intersection. I always found it easier to get a TAXI over there."

Garandee: "Nyo, I don't want. It's dangelous!"

Garando: "Dangerous? It's a very populated area so it should be safe."

Garandee: "Nyo, might EXPLODE!"

Garando: "Explode?!?!"

Garandee: "...then I will become afro."

Garando: " ... "

Afro wife has seen too many action movies.


Garando mode:
It's dreadful how much work piles up after coming back from a long sick leave... Read More......

Conversations In Bed

After a busy day at work, it's the conversations that couples have before going to sleep that usually matter most...

Garandee: "Garando..."

Garando: "Yaaawn... Yes dear?"

Garandee: "Why is your nose too small for your face?"

Garando: "It's not small... You just find it unusual because your head's too big."

Garandee: "Nyo! My head is normal!"

Garando: "Then why do you think your eyes are too far apart?"

Garandee: "NYO! My eyes are fine! It's your stomach that's big!

Garando: " ... "

Garandee: "You really need to go on a diet you know, and you have always been telling me that... that... Do?"

Garando: "ZZZzzzzzz...."


Garandee mode:
Wake up, I'm not done with you yet! Read More......

A Contest Entry

Glenda of Oodles and Goodles, is celebrating her birthday this June and she's giving away beautiful prizes to somebody who can share the best quote. Check out the prizes and rules here.

And here's my entry! Drum roll please...


Ok, I know that's not exactly a winning entry. But it was better than the other quote I was looking at:

"She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon."
- Groucho Marx


Garando mode:
Wishing you a happy birthday, Glenda! Read More......

Special Skills

Last night we were scanning through cable TV channels when we came across this live show that featured Chinese acrobats.

Garando: "Wow! These Chinese acrobats are so amazing aren't they?"

Garandee: "They must have started training at a very young age. I bet it earns them a lot of money."

Garando: "True. It takes years to develop that special skill."

Garandee: "Do... What's my special skill?"

Garando: "Complaining."

Garandee: "Complaining!! And what's your special skill?!"

Garando: "Cleaning up your mess."

Garandee: "NYO!!"


Garando mode:
I slept very well that night
Read More......

The Japaninang

There is no escape.

Now that Garandee has decided to settle in the Philippines, a country whose population is about 80% Catholic, it was only a matter of time before she became a Ninang (Godmother)

So about a year ago, she finally got the offer she couldn't refuse. She became a full-pledged Ninang with all the necessary perks included. A year later, she was invited to her goddaughter's first birthday party.

It was about an hour's drive to her goddaughter's party and Garandee was pretty excited to see her.

BUT we were late... and goddaughter wasn't too pleased.


Isn't she adorable?



She was very skeptical when I took out my bucket of excuses...


But it looks like she bought it! So we were off the hook...


Her big brother is also a cutie by the way.


...thank heavens they didn't follow after their Dad.


Garandee: "I will limit my godchildren to at most, two. The less I have the more attention and love I can give them!"

Garando: "Good luck with that. I stopped counting godkids after reaching seven."

(play Godfather theme here)


Garandee mode:
SEVEN!?!?
Read More......

Re-Connected!

I'M BACK!!

It's great to be back in civilization! Yes, it took over two weeks to get my internet back up and running properly.

Can you guess the reason why I got disconnected?
a) A Telecom repair person yanked my connection and forgot to plug it back in
b) My broadband modem was qualified to be traded-off in an antique store
c) A Telecom engineer messed with my account giving me blazing speeds comparable to a dial-up connection.

I'll give you the answer right now: d) All of the above!

Wasn't that exciting?!

(sarcasm mode: off)

On the bright side, at least Garandee and I were able to spend more quality time together. She got to watch all her pending Japanese soap dramas, and I got to...

got to...

uhhh...

...call the support hotline constantly and bug them to hell. Sigh.


Garando mode:
Sorry for missing your comments and blogs, I'll be on CATCH-UP MODE! Read More......

Internet Provider Fail!

Yesterday I suddenly got disconnected from the internet while I was working. I checked my land phone and there was no dial tone.

My phone was dead.

I wonder if petty crooks stole the telecom cables in my neighborhood again. Sheesh!

I had no way to call our corporate DSL support number, so I drove all the way to some shopping mall just to use a payphone. I only had 7 pesos worth of coins with me, but this should be enough to report the issue.

I put my 5 peso coin in the slot and dialed the corporate hotline.

Voice Mail: "Sorry, this number is not allowed"

Sigh, apparently pay phones cannot access our DSL corporate hotline number. I'll have to go through the regular customer hotline instead.

Voice Mail: "Welcome to bla bla bla. Dial 1 to know more about bla bla bla, 2 to report a bla bla bla"

Garando: "2"

Voice Mail: "New and exciting features await you... bla bla bla bla"

The queued advertisement took about 2 minutes to finish. BUT there were three different advertisements queued.

Voice Mail: "Sorry all agents are busy. We appreciate your patience, we will get to you shortly as soon as the next agent becomes available."

Whistling along with the waiting music.

Voice Mail: "Sorry, all agents are busy. Bla bla bla bla"

Garando: "Sigh... "

Very bad music cuts in again.

Voice Mail: "Sorry, all agents are busy. Bla bla bla bla"

Garando: "Sorry, all agents are busy. Bla bla bla bla"

Very bad music continues.

Garando: "Oh, I give up! You win. I'll try calling again later."

I hung up, pushed the coin return switch, and waited for my coin to fall down to the change slot.

Nothing happened.


I slapped the side of the phone a couple of times, and still nothing happened.

Garando: "Stupid phone, ripped me off! That was 5 pesos for nothing!"

Then I saw a label at the top of the instructions, in really small fonts.

"This public telephone unit does not give change."

Garando: "You've gotta be kidding me..." (slaps forehead)

I decided to give it another shot. I only had two 1 peso coins left, so I had to make it count! Inserted the first coin, and dialed the customer hotline again.

Had to wait through the same annoying advertisements. Good thing the meter only starts when I actually get to talk to someone.

Voice Mail: "Sorry, all agents are busy. Bla bla bla bla"

Garando: "What's new?"

Voice Mail: "Sorry, all agents are busy. Bla bla bla bla... click!"

Operator: "Hello, how may I help you today?"

Garando: "Hi!! Boy am I glad to hear you! I need to report my land phone connection. I don't have a dial tone, I think I'm completely cut off."

Operator: "Have you checked your cable connections sir?"

Garando: "Yes, I did."

Operator: "And it's all connected?"

Garando: "Yes."

Operator: "May I have your name sir?"

Garando: "Sure, I am... Oh wait, I'm almost out of time, I'm calling from a payphone so I need to put one more peso in..."

Operator: "Sure, sir."

I put my last coin in the slot. I got another minute to finish up.

Garando: "Done. Let's do this fast though."

Operator: "Ok, no problem. And that number is at your residence, correct? Can I have the number please?"

Garando: "Yes, it's ###-####"

Operator: "Thank you, let me repeat that. It's ##... POP!!"

Garando: " ??? "

Operator: " ... "

Garando: "Hello?.... Hello?...."

Operator: "...."

Apparently the pay phone had lost its dial tone.

The phone was dead.

Same with all the other pay phones next to it, all three. Completely cut off with no power. Very familiar.

Garando: "NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"

As I write this, I still have no internet at home and I am posting from my office. I apologize for not being able to reply to your comments, or do some bloghopping. Will catch up soon as this mess gets sorted out!


Garando mode:
I wish I was Simon Cowell because I really want to hurt their feelings right now!
Read More......

The Danger Of Sleeping

Garandee: "Garando! Look at this... What's that?"

Garando: " ...GASP! That's a picture of me sleeping with my mouth open. IKAW!!! You took my photo!?!?"

Garandee: "See? That's proof that it's not only me. You're even worse."

Garando: "Well, be glad that I don't snore."

Garandee: "Hmmm... maybe."

Garando: "Now go ahead and delete that before someone else sees it!"

Garandee: "I already sent it to Mom."

Garando: " !!! "


Garando mode:
Someone will find a peanut in her bellybutton when she wakes up... Read More......

Don't Miss Me Too Much!

She doesn't really show it, but I know she will miss me while I'm gone.

Garandee: "Wow, the bed will have a lot of space!"

She's trying so hard to act normal, but I'm sure she knows how lonely it gets when I'm not around.

Garandee: "...now I can roll around the bed as much as I want!"

She's going to have to deal with having lunch & dinner on her own.

Garandee: "...and I don't have to fight to get all the pillows!"

And worst of all, she won't have a soft tummy to rest her head on when she watches her weird Japanese dramas.

Garandee: "...I finally have the TV all for myself!!"

Yes, she doesn't show it, but she will miss me while I'm gone.


Garandee: "Do?"

Garando: "Yes dear? Miss me already?"

Garandee: "Nyo. Don't forget my list of omiyage (souvenirs) ok?!"

Garando: " ... " (slaps forehead)

Garandee: "And don't miss me too much! Concentrate on your work!"

Garando: " opo... "


Garandee mode:
Bye beeeee! Gambatte Garando! (do your best!)

Garando mode:
Hai, itekimasu! (bye bye) I musn't go home without her four little tea cups... Ganbarimasu!! Read More......

Me & Morinaga

Garandee and I were so happy after finding that our favorite Japanese "P75 Store" was back in business. It was her only source for reasonably priced natto and my only source for...

(insert drum roll here)



Morinaga's Choco Monaka!!
The ice cream that blew my mind.

Now called "Choto Shop", the grocery has a bigger floor area allowing much more variety. But who cares about variety, I just want my Choco Monaka!

Garandee: "They have more vegetables now!!!"

Uhhhh.... right. Anyway, Choco Monaka has been available in Japan for ages. Considered very common among the Japanese as how the infamous Pinipig Crunch is to us, Filipinos. I can't even count my shirts that got stained when a large chunk of chocolate coating fell from my Pinipig Crunch, usually on my second bite!

So what makes me love Choco Monaka so much?



Vanilla ice-cream covered with a crunchy waffle!


And what's that inside?
A layer of chocolate between the ice-cream and the waffle, and another extra crunchy chocolate bar at the core!

Is that BRILLIANT or what?!

Choto Shop is located in Pasong Tamo St., Makati, where Little Tokyo and Shinjuku Ramen are at. If this post makes you wanna go over there pronto to grab some, chances are we already hoarded all the stock.

Kidding! I'm on a diet.


Garandee mode:
Yes, diet onegaishimasu (please)!! Your hand is so debu (fat).
Read More......

Garando's Errand Challenge #1

Garandee: "Garando..."

Garando: "Yes?"

Garandee: "I ran out of sanitary napkins..."

Garando: "I see."

Garandee: "Can you please buy me some?"

Garando: " ... "

Garandee: "Can you?"

Garando: "uhhhh... well...."

Garandee: "Don't worry, people won't think you're the one who will use it!"

Garando: "Hmmmmm... but...."

Garandee: "Just be MACHO! Talk to the cashier in a very deep and low voice. Drop the napkin in front of her and say, IT'S FOR MY FEMALE WIFE! You know, like Yakuza style!"

Garando: "Yeah, but still..."

Garandee: "I remember you bought me some before we got married."

Garando: "I did?"

Garandee: "HAI! And now we're married you don't want to buy me napkins anymore. HMPH!"

Garando: "...I did?"


Later that evening...

Garando: "Tadaima!" (I'm home)

Garandee: "Okaeri!" (Welcome home)

Garando: "Here you go."

Garandee: "WOW!!! You bought the napkins!"

Garando: "I guess it's better than asking me to buy a pair of ladies' underwear."

Garandee: "WOW! SWEET NAMAN!!" (how sweet!)


Garando mode:
Happy Easter!! Read More......

Meme: "I Love Your Blog" Award & 10 Birthday Wishes

I Love Your Blog Award

Thank you Alice, for recognizing me with the "I Love Your Blog" award! Alice's blog is also one that I frequent because of her lovely photos, food diaries and great book reviews.

Now I give this award to some blogs that I recently discovered.

1) KonnichiwaPug - I totally love this cute blog! Dahlia and Daisy are absolutely adorable and I always look forward to more of their photos and funny antics!
2) Dong Ho's Eskapo - In my opinion, this blog set the standards for adventure blogging!
3) Lantaw - One of the best outdoor photography of the Philippines, 'nuff said.
4) Travelog - A simple, beautiful and honest photoblog about Japan.
5) Alice Teh - I award this back to Alice, of course! :)


Ten Birthday Wishes

I owe Witsandnuts this tag for the longest time. Sorry, Wits!

I was asked to share 10 birthday wishes. To be honest, I stopped asking for anything on my birthday when I was 7 years old. That was when realized that I didn't have to wait for my birthday to ask for stuff! Here goes...

1) I want a toilet with a robotic 5-speed bidet and an automated tissue dispenser. I love the way how bums get pampered in Japan!

2) I want Mike Enriquez to talk like a normal person. Garandee gets freaked out everytime she hears him anchoring the news and I just can't imagine how he talks to his kids.

3) I want a bitterless ampalaya (bitter melon) so Garandee can finally add it in her pinakbet.

4) I want Philippine Jeepneys to have electric taser devices installed on their driver seats. Each time they go over 60kph or violate any traffic rules the device will send a non-lethal electric shock to their anus.

5) I want Philippine Bus drivers to have a similar device on their driver seats. Except that it's conveniently attached to their scrotum since they prove to be much worse than jeepney drivers.

6) I want 7 shirts with a muscular naked torso with six-pack abs printed on it. If I wear this everyday maybe Garandee will stop complaining about my all-natural hubby belly.

7) I want three day weekends: Saturday, Sunday and Slumberday.

8) I want a king-sized bed with Garandee-sized pouches mounted on both sides. No special reason, she just rolls all over the place when asleep.

9) I want each government office to have an unconventional complaints/suggestions box at the entrance. Instead of the traditional box with a slot, there will be a roster of employeees, and each name will have an "EJECT" button next to it.

10) I want natto to taste like a juicy steak fillet and smell like pot roast. Then maybe I can start having it for breakfast too!


Garando mode:
Getting excited for the long holiday! Read More......

April Fail!

I didn't sound all convincing in my previous post, did I?

I think the posting date on top of my "Sayonara...Friends" totally blew it. Either that or I'm a completely hopeless prankster and I should just go back to doing the things I'm better at: posting about a lot of Garando & Garandee nonsense.


I was even planning to use a title like "GOTCHA!!" for this post, but after seeing all the comments you left, it became "April Fail". LOL.

Sigh... and to think I even had to stop myself from posting anything in the past few days to fabricate just the right "atmosphere" for the drama! So much for any aspirations of an acting career...

I'll have to admit though, I was quite touched by your comments. Thank you very much!


Garando mode:
"April Fail Day"... Get it? Ho ho ho

Garandee mode:
Please no more jokes! Your pathetic drama was worse enough. Hajukashii.... Read More......

Don't Let The Wife Buy The Undies

Why does she love buying me boxers like these?


I know that nobody else besides Garandee will actually see me wearing it, but what about my dignity? I had no choice but to ask her to stop buying me boxers that fall under any of these design classifications:

1) Floral
2) Pink
3) Polka Dots
4) Sanrio Characters

Fortunately, she agreed without further argument. So over the weekend she bought me this abomination instead.


front

back
Not much of an improvement, but at least the fabric was soft and light.

I wonder if she's being sarcastic about the carrot...


Garando mode:
Haju kashii.... Read More......

Home-based IT Support with a Twist

Garandee: "Do, Can you please sit next to me?"

Garando: "Sure dear. You miss me already?"

Garandee: "Nyo. There's something wrong with my Photoshop... Everytime I open a file it opens as black & white."

Garando: "Hmmm... that's odd. Hand me the mouse, I'll take a look at the settings..."

Garandee: "I didn't change anything, it just happened all of a sudden!"

Garando: "Hmmmm... Nothing seems to be out of place. All the settings are... BURP! excuse me! ....all the settings are at default so..."

Garandee: " !!! "

Garando: "What?"

Garandee: "KUSSSAAAAAIIIII!!! (it stinks)" Pinching her nose

Garando: " ??? "

Garandee: "I shouldn't have cooked longganiza for you today!!"

Garando: "Eeehh? It's not thaaaat baaaad. Seeeee? Haaaaaaahhhhh."

Garandee: "Oh my goodness talaga!"

Garando: "Wait, where are you going? I'm still fixing your..."

Garandee: "To the bedroom! Sooo kusai! (it stinks)"

Bedroom door: "SLAM!"

Garando: "...at least it still smells the same way when I ate it... unlike natto."


Garando mode:
Had to wake up so early to drive for Garandee today... Read More......

Meme: "Garando likes to..."

A few weeks ago, I found this meme over at Alice's blog, I thought it was really FUN to do so I gave it a shot. Very simple instructions:

1) Go to Google
2) Type YOUR FIRST NAME and the words "LIKES TO" all in quotation marks... "Alice likes to"
3) Report back on the first ten things that come up for your name

I used "Garando" and ended up with zero results. DUH. So I tried using my real first name. I was surprised when Google came back with the most outrageous results! Now why does this happen to me all the time??

Results (All copied from Google as is):
1) ** likes to Beep
2) ** likes to chew the fat with Bob during coffee break
3) ** likes to enact bondage scenarios
4) ** likes to bet that's all
5) ** likes to keep fit by running, cycling, swimming, gym and martial arts (though not all at the same time)
6) ** likes to write about community, technology and changing the world
7) ** likes to study algae
8) ** likes to work in all areas of his craft, particularly illustrating children's books
9) ** likes to use repetition to highlight important ideas
10) ** likes to watch dvd's and play with the buttons on the machine

To summarize:
Garando is a sporty, healthy, and fit *beep* who loves to re-enact bondage with Bob where he chews fat and play with various buttons on a machine.

After getting his degree on algae research he now writes children's books about changing the world via altering the community, taking advantage of technology, and doing a lot of gambling. All the pages of his books are identical with the first page.


Garandee mode:
What shall I cook for dinner? Read More......

Our Backpack Chronicles: New Delhi (part 1)

Series Two: Do & Dee & Delhi

“HOTEL RAK”, that sign you see at the background was our second hotel. This hotel is probably one of the best ones at Main Bazaar because it had knobs on its airconditioner.


Yes, knobs to control the fan speed and the temperature. The first hotel didn’t have any so I had to cover the airconditioner with pillows and blankets to control the temperature. Garandee’s teeth were chattering so hard I was worried I’ll need to thaw her out the following morning.


Garandee and her huge backpack. I worry that if she fell backwards she can never get back up... you know, like a beetle or a turtle.



One of the best things about walking around Delhi was the opportunity to take photographs of people as they go about their business. Here are a few of my favorite ones…




You just gotta love the fabulous Sari’s the ladies wear in India. They're sooo colorful! Garandee even had a couple of Sari’s when she was working as a part time waitress in an Indian restaurant in Tokyo.


One of my biggest regrets was not having enough time to visit the Hindu temples around Delhi…


Rickshaws! You will not believe how many of these I dodged while I was walking around Delhi, it was absolute “Rickshaw Rampage”!

I remember riding one on our first day…

Garandee: “Do, are you ok? You’ve been hitting the roof of the rickshaw a lot.”

Garando: “Yeah, as long as I use my hands like a helmet, I’ll probably survive. OW!!”

Garandee: “Kawawa… try to duck lower.”

Garando: “If I did that my face will hit the handle bars. YOUCH!”

Garandee: “Oh, right… how about… DO!! LOOK!!”

Garando: “Huh?? What? Where? ARAYKUPO!! (Ouch!!)”

Garandee: “There’s McDonald’s here!”

Garando: “Big deal, there’s McDonald’s everywhere. UFFF!”

Garandee: “But how can you have a burger restaurant in a country where cows are sacred??”

Garando: “Hmmm good point.“

Garandee: “di ba? (isn’t it?)”

Garando: “Driver, can you drop us off at McDonalds? I wanna get me some Big McGuru and Masala Fries!”

Rickshaw: “SCREEEEEEECH!!!”


Next stop: Delhi Belly!


Garando mode:
This is me inside the rickshaw.
Read More......

The Blue Day

Sorry, I thought I was done with my shirt posts, but last Tuesday...

Garandee: "Eh? I thought you were planning to wear this shirt today?"

Garando: "No, today I'm wearing this blue one."

Garandee: "Why?"

Garando: "I received an email that today's a BLUE day."

Garandee: "BLUE day?"

Garando: "Yes, the entire organization must come to work wearing Blue."

Garandee: "I see... Interesting."

Garando: "There's probably another photo session... I dunno."

Garandee: "Is there a flat-stomach day?"

Garando: " ... "

Garandee: "...then you'll be in trouble."

Garando: "It's not so bad when I tuck my shirt in. See?"


Garandee mode:
Talk to da hand!! Read More......