Meme: "Garando likes to..."

A few weeks ago, I found this meme over at Alice's blog, I thought it was really FUN to do so I gave it a shot. Very simple instructions:

1) Go to Google
2) Type YOUR FIRST NAME and the words "LIKES TO" all in quotation marks... "Alice likes to"
3) Report back on the first ten things that come up for your name

I used "Garando" and ended up with zero results. DUH. So I tried using my real first name. I was surprised when Google came back with the most outrageous results! Now why does this happen to me all the time??

Results (All copied from Google as is):
1) ** likes to Beep
2) ** likes to chew the fat with Bob during coffee break
3) ** likes to enact bondage scenarios
4) ** likes to bet that's all
5) ** likes to keep fit by running, cycling, swimming, gym and martial arts (though not all at the same time)
6) ** likes to write about community, technology and changing the world
7) ** likes to study algae
8) ** likes to work in all areas of his craft, particularly illustrating children's books
9) ** likes to use repetition to highlight important ideas
10) ** likes to watch dvd's and play with the buttons on the machine

To summarize:
Garando is a sporty, healthy, and fit *beep* who loves to re-enact bondage with Bob where he chews fat and play with various buttons on a machine.

After getting his degree on algae research he now writes children's books about changing the world via altering the community, taking advantage of technology, and doing a lot of gambling. All the pages of his books are identical with the first page.


Garandee mode:
What shall I cook for dinner?